so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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