We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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