Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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