THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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