Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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