whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize