I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
