I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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