Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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