Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
