he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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