i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
