im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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