My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize