I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
