I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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