I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
