just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
