Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
