I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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