does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
