Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
