When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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