I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
