i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
