My sheets look like a crime scene.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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