how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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