The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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