I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
