He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
