threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
