i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize
