I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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