And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
