no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
