So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize