his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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