on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
