we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This baby is an asshole
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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