Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
