I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
