dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
