well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
