for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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