please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
