U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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