She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
