First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
