I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
