Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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