I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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