I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
