my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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