like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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