Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
