i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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