sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
