Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
